


Coming Home

by Applepower



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lance's family is awesome, Lance's little siblings, Some angst, genfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 03:53:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15900351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applepower/pseuds/Applepower
Summary: On returning to Earth, Lance is homesick and and exhausted Shiro would rather avoid the red tape of the Garrison while he recovers. Lance has the perfect solution. Canon Divergent past season 6. (Started before season 7 release)





	1. Chapter 1

The team took the journey back to earth at a leisurely pace. They stopped at planets when they needed to resupply, then continued on, taking time to rest and recover. They were all injured, but Keith and Shiro especially.

Keith was banged up from his brutal fight with Shiro, more than he had let on when he had led Voltron. Once he was satisfied that Shiro was safe, he had almost collapsed into the pilot's seat. They had decided to stay on that planet for the night before flying off.

Shiro... he slept most of the first few days. There had been a scary moment when one of his wounds had become infected and he'd developed a fever, only two days out from Earth, but Coran had intervened in time.

"Isn't there anything else we can do?" Keith asked Coran restlessly, one hand resting protectively on Shiro's forehead. The former paladin blinked listlessly, only partially aware of his surroundings.

Coran shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

"I'm afraid not, number four. The only healing pods we had were on the... castle," he hesitated a bit at the mention of his ship. "It's not anything he can't recover from, but he's going to have to do it the old fashioned way."

"Well we can't take him to the garrison like this." Keith scowled, "He didn't handle it well the first time, and he was stronger last time. It would be really stressful for him."

"It might be better if we were able to prepare and contact commander Holt ahead of time, but Earth's technology is still too primitive and can't connect with Altean technology."

"Um, actually Keith, Coran," Lance popped his head in the door, "I might have a solution."

"What is it?" Keith searched Lance's face for any sign of joking, but he was actually... really sincere. And... anxious? That was weird.

"Well, there's my family in Cuba?" Lance looked hopefully at both of them. "I c-I could take Shiro and stay with him while he recovers and then join you back at the garrison."

Keith looked to Coran, who raised his hands placatingly.

"I don't have any objections. You know him best, though; it's your decision."

"Would that be alright with them?" Keith asked uncertainly. Lance laughed a little and nodded vigorously.

"Yeah! Yeah, it would be fine. There's so many of us, and with friends staying over all the time, one more won't make a difference."

Keith bit his lip and looked down at Shiro, considering.

"Please, man." Lance pleaded softly, and even Keith picked up on the homesick desperation in his voice. That brought the black paladin up short.

What if he knew his mom was so close, and it had been three years since he had seen her? What... what if it had been his dad there too? Keith was starting to understand, and his eyes softened a little.

"Sure, Lance. That'll be better for Shiro than the garrison."

"Thanks, Keith," Lance breathed, relaxing significantly. He smiled a little, but it grew until even Keith even smiled back. Coran smiled with them, but his was a little sad too. As if he was thinking of his own family.

"What?" Shiro moaned softly, his eyes finally showing some coherence. Lance and Keith quickly shuffled around until they were in Shiro's line of view.

"How are you feeling, Shiro?" Keith asked quietly, his eyes sharp with concern.

"...Better than yesterday." Shiro decided on after a moment. "You?"

"I'm recovering too," Keith nodded, then he turned to Lance to start.

"Um... Keith thought it would be better for you if you came with me to Cuba for a while instead of the garrison. Would that be alright?" Lance spoke softly and slowly so Shiro could follow him, but his eyes shone brightly and his fingers tapped rapidly against his leg with suppressed excitement.

"Of course," Shiro agreed, his lips quirking up at Lance's happiness. "I can't wait to meet everyone."

Lance couldn't contain himself. He jumped up and started skipping, his hands in his pockets.

"You're gonna love it there, Shiro! There's mis primos y tios, and-and mi mama! Oh my gosh, I can't believe we're actually going!"

"You alright, Lance?" Keith asked with growing concern. The light in Lance's eyes was becoming almost feverish, and his hands were shaking.

"Yeah, I'm great!" Lance laughed, raking a and through his hair and spinning around happily. "I'm better than I've ever been! Let's go now!"

"Just give us a moment to move Shiro's things into Red, and then you should be good to go, number three."

"Ah, shoot, I gotta go move Kaltenecker over-"

And then Keith and Shiro were left alone.

"That's alright with you?" Keith studied Shiro's face for confirmation.

"Lance's needed this for a while," Shiro murmured, closing his eyes as he drifted off to sleep, "And... 's better than the garrison."

After lots and lots of clarification, (and a scribbled family tree on one of Red's tactical note screens) Shrio finally sorted out that Lance's mama had three brothers and one sister, while his Papa had two brothers and two sisters. He didn't try to keep the cousins straight, but Lance had four older siblings and three younger.

Lance had been restless since Keith had first mentioned going back to earth, but now he looked ready to explode. He would sit for a few moments, humming happily and jiggling his leg absently, then he would suddenly turn to Shiro and tell another story about a cousin or nephew.

"-And then there's my cousin Maria, she's studying to be a nurse. Come to think about it, she's probably graduated by now. She wants to travel though, so she'll probably talk to you to practice her English." Lance smiled, "She's quiet, but it's nice because she listens to all my stories. You know, one of those people who smiles and nods when everyone else has stopped listening?"

Shiro smiled tiredly, letting Lance talk. His excitement was contagious.

A non-dangerous sensor popped up, and Lance suddenly... just stopped. His leg stopped bouncing, and his eyes went wide. His breath caught in his throat.

"There it is." he choked, his hands starting to tremble again.

Red dropped out of the clouds, and they could see an island surrounded by deep, royal blue water. There was a sprawling city right on the water's edge, but they flew right past it, over forests, along the water's edge. Shiro even sat up a little to see better.

Eventually the deep green gave way to lighter, coarse grasslands. Lance's knuckles were white from gripping the joysticks as he pushed Red forward.

At last, at long last the lion touched down, resting gently on the patch of land close to an interconnected house system. The roof was made of burnished red roof tiles, and the walls were pale plaster. Shiro thought it was really pretty.

"You doing alright, buddy?" Shiro asked softly. Lance swallowed and shook his head. He looked a little pale.

"Shiro, it's been so long." he whispered, "Do they even know I'm alive? All the little cousins won't know me..."

"It'll be alright," Shiro assured gently, "Commander Holt will have gotten word to them by now. And I'm sure all your older cousins will have told the little ones about you. Yeah?

"Yeah- okay." Lance took a shaky breath and stood. He took a step towards the door, then paused and looked back guiltily at Shiro.

"Umm... I'll-"

"It's okay, I'll wait here. Go see your family Lance," Shiro assured him.

Lance gave him a little grateful smile and walked a little unsteadily down the exit ramp. Shiro saw the door to the house open as Lance approached and a middle aged woman stepped into the doorway, and covered her mouth with her hands.

The Red Paladin stopped.

Shiro watched both of them exchange a few words, then they both broke into a run and closed the distance between them.

Lance must have been a good foot taller than this small Cuban lady, but he collapsed into her arms and buried his head into her shoulder. His mama's face was shining with happy tears. Shiro looked away for a moment to give them some privacy.

"Lance! Lance 'sta aqui!" he heard young voices calling, and then suddenly the courtyard was filled with family members, laughing and hugging and cheering. Lance turned to see everyone, and Shiro saw the brightest smile Lance had ever worn. He was laughing and crying and talking all at once, crushed by the flood of people trying to hug him at the same time.

Whoops of joy drew Shiro's gaze, and he saw several grown men running at full speed into the group. They looked like genuine cowboys. Jeans and boots and hats and everything. But then, they were genuine cowboys, Lance had told him. His family owned a ranch.

The family finally started to draw Lance into the house, but the boy resisted for a minute. He gestured to the lion, and then left the group, trailed by one of his older brothers. Or cousins. Shiro wasn't sure.

Lance stepped into the lion, still grinning broadly.

"You ready to meet them, Shiro?"

"Yeah," Shiro agreed, smiling back at the boy.

"Dios, Lance!" The man poked his head in after him, twitching his mustache and wiping his forehead. "Vives en esta?" he blinked and gestured to Kaltenecker. "Eh, que es esta? Donde encontra una vaca?"

Lance laughed and shot something funny back at him, and they were both laughing. Shiro smiled awkwardly, enjoying the camaraderie between them despite not understanding a word. Lance gestured to Shiro at last and appeared to introduce them.

"Ah, bienvenidos a Cuba, S-Shiro," Lance's cousin smiled broadly, testing the name out carefully and extending his hand.

"Um... Gracias...?"

"Javier."

"Well, gracias Javier," Shiro smiled too, accepting the hand and shaking it. He butchered the accent, he was sure, but they didn't seem to mind.

"Come on, let's get you inside Shiro," Lance said, and the two of them lifted Shiro and supported him on either side. They made their way slowly to the house.


	2. Chapter 2

Lance and Javier brought Shiro into the closest house and settled him down on one of the chairs in the living room. He winced as some of his ribs were jostled and closed his eyes for a few moments, trying to regain his breath.

Hot air puffed into his face, and Shiro's brows furrowed in confusion and he opened his eyes.

A young face and bright blue eyes stared back at him, centimeters from his own face. Shiro yelped a little in surprise, and the little boy withdrew quickly. He didn't go far though.

"Qué pasó a tú pelo?" he asked, reaching out to touch Shiro's white hair. The meaning was clear enough, and Shiro blushed uncomfortably, even though he smiled at how cute the boy was. He hadn't had time to give his new hair much thought, and it hadn't occurred to him how it would look to others.

"I... ahhh..."

"Nico!" a plaintive voice cut them off. A slightly older boy, Shiro guessed he was somewhere around seven, pushed between Shiro and the little boy, "Don't bother him! He's a guest!"

"It's alright," Shiro raised his hand placatingly, "I don't mind."

Nico looked around the taller boy and smiled widely at Shiro.

"I- I like!" he exclaimed, pointing again and bouncing up and down happily.

"You do?" Shiro grinned, touched. "Well, thanks."

Nico giggled and ran off, leaving Shiro smiling after him.

The older boy sighed. He seemed older than he actually was. he reminded Shiro strongly of one of his garrison professors- serious, studious, and a neat.

His mature attitude was more endearing than intimidating, though, with three of his his baby teeth missing.

"I'm sorry, that's my cousin. He's still little," the boy offered as explanation, extending his hand the way his uncles had. "I'm Emilio."

"I'm Shiro," the former paladin replied, reaching out with his left hand and pausing awkwardly. Emilio tactfully switched hands and shook with his left.

"We're going to get food in a minute," he continued, gesturing to the large table where most of the older adults- abuelos and abuelas- were sitting, "I'm going to bring yours so you can sit."

"I can-"

"Lance said don't let you," the boy shook his head seriously, "So you wait here and I'll bring it."

"Ahh, okay," Shrio finally relented, turning pink again, "umm, thanks."

Emilio gave him a toothy (toothless?) smile and ran off.

As more people filed into the house, Shiro noticed that the older people were seated at the large table, while men closer to his own age started filling up the chairs in the living room. All the movement and noise should have been overwhelming, but this was different than anything during his time in Galra prison. Instead of fear, there was laughter and teasing; the lights were yellow and warm, not purple and harsh; , instead of violence and the isolating need to survive, were hugs and hair ruffles and cheek pinches. This was grounding. Shiro could handle this.

Lance joined the men too, laughing and talking. Shiro caught his eye once, and nodded to let Lance know he was okay. The red paladin smiled with relief and turned back to his cousins. Shiro was content to just sit back and observe- he didn't have the energy to talk at the moment.

"Here you go!" Emilio was back with two plates full of food, and he handed one to Shiro. Shiro nodded his thanks, a little overwhelmed at the amount of food Emilion thought he would want. He awkwardly used his left hand and a fork to start with the rice.

"Can you understand them?" Emilio asked. He had settled himself down on the right armrest of Shiro's chair, listening studiously to the men's conversation as he ate, nodding sagely every now and then.

"Not really," Shiro admitted.

"That's fine." the boy reassured him, "I know Spanish and English very good, so I can tell you!"

Shiro smiled and nodded.

And so the meal passed, with the men talking and Emilio occasionally explaining a joke. Shiro mostly picked at his food, not feeling very hungry. Still, this was nice, and Shiro felt included thanks to Emilio.

"Ah?!" a shrill voice shrieked in his ear, and Emilio fell off the armrest in surprise. Lance's mother was suddenly in front of him, gesturing furiously at his still full plate and shouting at him.

"She thinks you don't like it," Emilio whispered helpfully, watching her rant. "She says 'how can I make you fat again if you don't eat?'"

Shiro's eyes widened in horror and he shook his head.

"No! No ma'am, that's not-"

"¡Mamá!" Lance yelped, jumping up and placing himself between Shiro and his mother, "¡Mamá, alta! Por favor-"

He placed his hands on her shoulders and quietly explained. As Lance went on, her eyes softened and she glanced around Lance to Shiro, who was watching them wide-eyed. Finally she nodded, satisfied, and stepped towards Shiro a completely changed person.

"Está bien, chico," she smiled sweetly, reaching out and patting his cheek, "Come que puedes."

"It's alright- eat what you can." Emilio whispered in his ear.

"Th-thank you, ma'am." Shiro nodded. She patted his shoulder affectionately and walked off.

"Crisis averted, Shiro," Lance grinned sympathetically and gave him a thumbs up, "But you'd better start getting better, because she won't take excuses about not eating for long."

"I'll do my best," Shiro agreed, relieved.

He looked up when he heard chairs being pushed back from tables. The men around him were standing and stretching too. Some of the younger children took up the chant of ´Musica! Musica!´ and the older girls giggled and ran out of the house.

¨What´s happening?¨ Shiro asked.

"They are going to start dancing and singing," Emilio replied, not making any move to join them.

"Aren't you going to dance? Don't miss out just because of me."

"Well," the boy squirmed on the armrest, "I'm not very good at dancing. Or singing. Not like my brothers."

"I won't make you go," Shiro said gently, "But it might be fun even if you're not good at it." he smiled, "yeah?"

Emilio considered this seriously. After a minute he nodded.

"Okay, I'll try it."

"Have fun!" Shiro called after him as he hopped down and followed the kids out the door. Lance appeared at his side a moment later.

"Are you doing alright?" he asked anxiously, "Sorry about the misunderstanding earlier-"

"It's alright Lance," Shiro assured him, "I just felt bad that she thought I didn't like her food."

"Oh, Emilio translated for you?" Lance laughed, "Yeah, I think she's okay now. She just wanted to take care of you. Wants to- don't think you've gotten out of it, Shiro. You're one of us now."

"I'm honored," Shiro smiled, closing his eyes again.

"Hey, do you want to go to bed now, or are you up for some music? They'll understand if you're tired."

"I want to see some of it at least, " Shiro shook his head, sitting up a little, "I'll be fine for a little longer."

Lance nodded and pulled him up carefully. They slowly made their way out the door and into the inner courtyard.


	3. Chapter 3

The light outside was failing fast, so older kids were setting up lanterns around the perimeter, hanging them over doorways and windows. String lights that Shiro hadn't noticed on the way in were turned on too, giving the place a whimsical feel. He turned to comment on them to Lance, but the red paladin had disappeared.

Light laughter sounded from a house across from them, and Shiro saw several of the older girls filing out close together. They weren't dressed in their everyday clothes anymore- they were wearing bright traditional dresses that were fitted on top with ruffles sleeves, and loose flowing ruffles on the bottom as well. Many of them wore scarf wraps over their hair. There was a lot of oranges and yellows, with the occasional blue and green.

Lance and some of his cousins came out of another house- dressed in black pants and bright ruffled shirts. Lance was wearing red, and Shiro thought he looked fantastic. The proud red paladin of Voltron.

The boys and girls gathered around some of the older uncles, calling out several song suggestions, as the men unhurriedly tuned their guitars and settled their bongos more comfortably on their laps. Finally, one of them called out a beat and they began.

Shiro quickly decided he liked Cuban music. It was upbeat and happy, whether from the music itself or the people who were having so much fun dancing to it he wasn't sure. The cousins were obviously very experienced in dancing together, because they wove in and out with each other seamlessly. Sometimes in pairs and occasionally in a group.

"Shiro!" A small wailing figure came barreling toward him. Emilio hurtled up to him and buried his head against Shiro's shoulder, distressed and in tears.

"What happened?" Shiro asked in alarm, craning his neck so he could see the boy better.

"I- I tried the dance," Emilio sobbed, "but I didn't know all the steps. Th-they laughed at me!"

"Are you sure they were laughing at you?" From what Shiro had seen of Lance's family, that didn't seem very likely. "Where were you dancing?"

Emilio lifted his head just long enough to point. Shiro squinted across the courtyard, and saw the group of kids.

"Emilio, look," Shiro reached up to nudge the boy gently, "look for a second. They're not laughing at you. They're just having a good time. See? Your little cousin just messed up too. They laughed, but he laughed too and kept trying."

Emilio sniffled and watched the group curiously, still keeping a small hand fisted in Shiro's sleeve. Eventually he calmed, resting his warm head against Shiro. He watched his cousins and siblings with careful curiosity. At the end of the song he withdrew, scrubbing at his eyes.

"Maybe I'll watch," he relented. Shiro reached up and ruffled his hair.

"Alright, bud. Have fun."

As each song merged into the next, Shiro could hear the different influences from around the world. Mariachi bands of Mexico, the deedly ingrained beat of African music, and the bright flare of Spain. He told one of the pairs that when they joined him to take a break from the dancing, and they laughed.

"Ah, those... those country- we don' copy them! They copy us!" the girl had tried to explain in halting English, gesturing every now and then as she searched for words, "Music of Cuba, it give to all the other country. Is the best of all them!"

"I see," Shiro answered, smiling at the obvious pride in their voices over their native music- and with good reason.

Lance was a wonderful dancer. Shiro hadn't really expected otherwise. He guided his dance partner easily through the crowded dance floor time and time again, adding extra steps and elaborate hand gestures. As he laughed and went through the complex routines, Shiro saw so much of his personality and manerisms come through. He was following the dance well, but subtly puting in his own flare to make it entirely his own. It was so- Lance.

Songs started to blend together as it got darker, and Shiro only caught snatches of swirling color and laughter at a time. Everything started to take on a golden hue as the sun dropped below the horizon and the lights illuminated the courtyard more strongly. Shiro didn't remember falling asleep, only color and laughter and music that seemed to last forever.

. . .

The next thing Shiro knew, it was light outside. He took a moment to orient himself, lying still and trying to make sense of his surroundings. He... was lying on something? Soft? A couch. There was a blanket over him and it was just a little scratchy. It smelled like clean laundry and just a hint of pepper. This was safe.

Eventually, he started to make sense of soft voices- Spanish. Lance's, he knew, but there was another voice. Quiet and light, it sounded like a young woman's. Shiro opened his eyes, trying to see what was going on.

Lance and the girl were sitting next to each other on one side of a well-used faded red couch. They were both in normal day clothes again. Maria might have been dancing, she was only a few years older than Lance, but there had just been too many people to remember. She had her loose curls up in a ponytail with a soft patterned headband.

Shiro heard the name 'Maria' in the conversation, and guessed that this was Lance's cousin he had been talking about. She smiled softly at something Lance said and asked him a question.

Lance... Lance looked so relaxed. Shiro was amazed. After more than three years in space together, Lance had really matured and become a little less desperate for constant attention, but this was something else entirely. He had his head nestled on her shoulder and spoke with his eyes closed. Shiro could tell from their tone of voice that Lance was telling her something important. And Maria listened, nodding and running her hand through his hair.

Lance glanced over at Shiro and stopped mid-sentence. His eyes lit up with relief, and he jumped up from the couch.

"You're finally awake!" he smiled, giving his head a quick shake to get his hair back in place and squeezing Shiro's hand. "It was probably too much to let you stay up for the music. Actually it definitely was." he cringed guiltily. Shiro frowned slightly, knowing he should talk about that with Lance soon, because it wasn't his fault. "Your fever picked up this morning. Luckily Maria was home from work and she was able to bring it down and keep it under control."

"Pleased to meet you, Shiro," Maria said, pushing herself into a more upright position on the sunken-in couch. Her voice was easy and relaxed, even though her eyes were full of teasing laughter. Now that she had switched from Spanish to English, there was very little hint of an accent. "It seems you tried the intoxicating music of Cuba a little too early in your stay. My family will try to make sure you don't miss out on anything, but tell them you need to rest and regain your strength first. I'll tell them too and hopefully we can keep them away for a little while at least."

"Alright," Shiro agreed a little uncomfortably, but he could feel his eyes drooping as he spoke, "Thank you."

"Sure," Maria gave him a quick grin, "Go ahead and sleep. You need it."

"Okay," he breathed, already feeling himself slip back into a deep sleep.

That was really fun researching Cuban culture and music! :D If I'm not getting something right about that, please let me know! I want to be able to portray it accurately.

The new season is coming out so soon, I'm not sure how much longer I can make this canon-compliant, but we'll see how it goes!

As always, thanks for reading, and reviews are always appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

After a few days of mostly sleeping, Shiro felt his strength slowly returning. It was a relief, to feel rested and coherent.

And with the rest came nightmares.

He... he was fighting with Keith. They were on a platform, surrounded by cyro-pods. Keith was fast, dodging and parrying every throw Shiro was throwing at him. And yet- he always carefully avoided serious injury to Shiro if he could help it.

Shiro himself showed no such restraint.

He felt his hand connect hard with Keith's helmet, and then he struck with his black paladin bayard. Keith cried out in pain as he scrambled to get away.

Something seperated them for a moment. He couldn't tell what it was, but he was glad. Keith needed this break.

The faces in the cyro pods all around them were lighting up, leering at him. They seemed to contort and morph disturbingly, mocking him.

Was this a paladin of voltron? He couldn't even resist Hagar when his closest friend and brother was in danger? They continued to leer, growing more frightening with each passing second, and Shiro felt rooted to the spot. This was wrong...

"Shiro!" Keith called to him breathlessly, bringing Shiro gratefully back to the present, "I know you're in there. You made a promise once- you told me you'd never give up on me."

"And I should have abandoned you just like your parents did," he heard himself snarl back.

No! How could he say that? Shiro felt himself recoil in horror, hurting so much for Keith. But he didn't stop.

"They thought you were broken." No. "Worthless." No, NO! It wasn't true! "I should have seen it too."

"No, Keith! No, no, please! That's not true! I'm sorry!"he tried to yell, but no sound came out. He was trapped in a cage of silence.

But Keith... he didn't freeze. Shiro knew the words stung, but Keith pressed on.

"I'm not leaving here without you." he promised, softer now. Steady. Everything Shiro was not at the moment.

He tried to speak again, clawing desperately to break through Hagar's control, but suddenly he was engulfed in light and pain. It was his arm- something was happening to it-

"Shiro-"

Now Keith was falling- it was too far. What had he done? Please, don't be hurt, Keith.

He was standing over Keith, now. Keith was obviously hurt, trembling and reaching out for his sword.

Shiro felt the horror rising in him as he lifted his own sword, and struck.

Keith brought his blade up just in time, stopping Shiro's sword inches from his face. Shiro felt sick with relief.

"Shiro," Keith pleaded, reaching the end of his strength, "Ah-please! You're my brother. I-I love you!"

Shiro felt himself flinch for a moment, and he fought wildly to pull the sword back. But just as quickly, the moment was gone and he had no control again.

"You don't have to fight anymore!" he hissed, and then with a last push of strength, slid his sword up and around Keith's blade. And down.

The bayard impaled Keith, and his eyes went wide in shock. All around him, voices grew louder, echoing and laughing. They started out as his voice, but gradually changed into Hagar's. Then Sendak's.

Shiro watched the fire slowly leave Keith's eyes.

This was so wrong. he thought, feeling tears of helplessness come to his eyes. This couldn't be happening-

"NO!" Shiro shot up, breathing raggedly and looking around him wildly. It was so dark, and his ribs twinged uncomfortable with each wild breath. He felt oddly off balance. Why wasn't his hand lighting up? Without it, he was defenseless against Hagar... Sendak...

Where was Keith? What had he done? Was he still alive? Shiro felt a sob rising in his throat. Maybe they could still save him...

"Shiro? Shiro! What's wrong?" Lance came running into the room, flipping on a lamp.

Keith wasn't here!? No, no, that wasn't... where was he-

"Keith is- I hurt him." Shiro gasped, gripping Lance's wrist like a lifeline. Lance would know what to do. He needed to understand. "I- I didn't mean to! Is he- I'm sorry- 'm so sorry-"

"Woah, hey Shiro," Lance gently broke in, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You were dreaming. It's okay. Keith's fine."

"No," Shiro gasped, shaking his head insistently, "I- I remember it now. I hurt him- I... I killed him."

"Killed him?" Lance looked at him with sharp concern, "No, you didn't. I saw him afterwards. He was... he was banged up, but really alive. That was just the dream."

Lance saw Keith? Alive? The memory of killing him was still very vivid in Shiro's mind, but... he trusted Lance. Much more than he trusted himself at the moment. He was still foggy on everything that had happened while he was stuck in the astral plane, and the last few days he had been too out of it to really think about it.

Something was wrong with his memories, then. He brought his left hand up to his face- ah, now he remembered the missing arm- and tried to sort through dream and reality.

He... definitely fought Keith. He remembered that. And Lance hadn't told him otherwise.

He remembered Keith trying to reach him. He had been so calm. Confident. Shiro felt a swell of pride. Talking to him, reassuring him even though Shiro was doing everything in his power to ignore it. Well- Hagar was. He remembered hearing her in his head and shuddered. Was she still-?

No, no. Pidge had explained that the arm was what allowed her to control him. And that was gone now.

But, Keith? Was he safe?

He had definitely said everything he could to break Keith. He hadn't reacted, but was he really okay? He had grown, but Shiro needed to see for sure.

And... did he kill him? No, that wasn't true either. Lance had said so. So what had happened? He tried to remember.

It came to him then- he hadn't killed Keith. He could see it now- what had really happened. Keith had swung his blade and severed the prosthetic arm from his body. And all of the sudden, he had been able to move of his own accord again, free from Hagar's grip.

He hadn't killed Keith.

Keith had saved him.

He looked up at Lance, relieved, but...

"Is he okay?" he pressed. He had to know.

"Yeah, Shiro," Lance repeated patiently, "He came back and formed Voltron and saved us."

Shiro nodded uncertainly. He trusted Lance, but he wanted to know.

Lance bit his lip, then stood and offered Shiro a hand up.

"Come on," he said.

They walked through the sleeping house and out into the yard. Shiro followed Lance to the Red lion, where it had been waiting patiently all these days.

"Hey, Red," Lance whispered, smiling a little, "Can we come in?"

The lion gracefully lowered her head and opened her mouth to let them enter.

"What are we doing?" Shiro breathed.

"Messaging Keith," Lance replied, settling into the pilot seat and typing rapidly on the console.

"No- that's too late. It'll wake him up-"

"Nah, the garrison's a couple hours behind Cuba. It'll be fine." Lance reassured him, and then his grin turned wicked, "But if he is sleeping and it annoys him, I get full credit for the privilege of making him mad."

A screen popped up a moment later, and Keith's face appeared on it. Shiro studied his face closely, searching for injuries.

There were a long, healing scar on his face, and there was a bruise on his right cheek, but other than that he looked... okay. Not in danger of dying, but still...

"Hey, Mullet," Lance greeted cheerfully, obviously delighted by Keith's tired appearance. But Keith was recovering quickly.

"Lance?" he queried, the sleep in his eyes being replaced with wary alarm. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I've got it all covered here." Lance grinned easily, "But I thought it would be a fun idea to wake you up and give you a report. Shiro here was the responsible one and thought we should wait, but you know."

"Shiro's here?" Keith became fully alert now, scanning the screen behind Lance, trying to catch a glimpse of him. "Is he okay?"

"Right here, Keith," Shiro moved so he was in the line of the camera. "I- I wanted to ask you the same thing. I... finally remembered what happened that day."

Keith was silent a moment, taking in Shiro's haunted and guilt-ridden look. He nodded.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he assured him softly, "I'm really glad you're back with us."

"You're okay after... after everything I said there too?" Shiro felt his breath catch in his throat. Keith's eyes softened.

"I knew it wasn't you." he answered, "It was Hagar. And... thanks to you, and the time I spent with my mom... yeah, I'm okay."

Shiro searched his face. But where there had been an underlying vein of fear and insecurity when they had first met, there was now a quiet confidence. He was able to stand on his own. He was okay. Shiro released a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Keith was okay.

"I'm sorry." he said anyway.

"And I'm sorry I wasn't able to reach you sooner," Keith nodded, "But neither of those things were our fault, okay?"

"I-" Shiro felt the protest at Keith's apology die on his lips, "o-okay."

"Good," Keith gave a small smile. "Are you okay too?"

"I'm... better now." Shiro nodded, taking a deep breath, and managed a small smile. "You've grown up so much. I'm so proud of you Keith."

Keith seemed to warm visibly at the comment. But this time there was no desperate searching look that Shiro would have gotten in the past.

"Thanks, Shiro," he smiled a little wider, "That means a lot."

"Hey- who're you talking to?" a muffled voice came from offscreen on Keith's end. Pidge's face appeared next to Keith's a moment later.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Keith glanced at her sidelong, mildly amused.

"Sleep is for the weak," Pidge waved a dismissive hand at him. "Shiro! How are you?"

"I'm good," he assured her sincerely.

"That's good," she nodded emphatically, reaching up to straighten her glasses. "Then once Lance is done visiting and you're totally better you can come join us. My dad is just finalizing the deal with the garrison to start building the new castle. I know it sounds like it's taking forever, but he actually laid down a lot of groundwork before we got here. It would have taken even longer if they hadn't known about us beforehand."

"That's great, Pidge." Shiro said.

"Yeah, I'm head of the tech crew," Pidge continued, more than a little smugly, "Hunk's leading the engineering division, too. And we're hoping to get it done as quickly as possible. With all of us working on it, and with Coran's plans already there, things should go quickly once the politics of it all are settled." she wrinkled her nose. "I don't envy my dad and Allura right now."

"Me neither," Shiro agreed, "Keep us updated on things then, and we'll meet up with you in a little bit."

"Sounds good, Shiro! Make sure you're getting some sleep, and all that jazz."

"You're one to talk," Keith muttered good naturedly.

"WELL, I think that's enough socializing for one night," Pidge interrupted loudly and hurriedly, "Gotta go- see you Shiro!"

"Night Pidge," Shiro chuckled, watching her make a hasty retreat.

The two black paladins were left alone again.

"Goodnight, Shiro." Keith said when it was just him onscreen again.

"Night, Keith," he replied, "Um, sorry about waking you up-"

"No, I'm glad you did." Keith shook his head firmly. "I want you to do it again if you need it. You did it plenty of times for me."

"A-alright," Shiro agreed hesitantly. It was very odd being on the other end of this. "Um, thank you."

"Of course," Keith agreed, "Goodnight, Shiro."

Lance was waiting outside the lion, lounging against one of her massive paws.

"Better?" he asked when he saw Shiro.

"Yeah." he nodded, "Thank you Lance."

"Anytime."

Okay, I'm a little unfamiliar with writing action/suspense scenes, so let me know what you think!

This chapter was really long, but I wasn't able to split it well into two equal parts. :P


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of the night passed slowly for Shiro. Lance didn't leave him, dozing quietly on the couch next to him, and Shiro was grateful for that. But all the same, he was left alone with his thoughts.

As he was regaining strength, he felt himself slipping back into his leader persona; attempting to mask his obvious weaknesses for the sake of his team. While he might not feel it on the inside, he needed to give the team something to ground them. They needed a leader to look up to.

But... Keith was leader now. Shiro didn't grudge him the black paladin position in the slightest. Even now, he felt a swell of pride thinking about how ready Keith was for this role. But still...

What did that make him?

He was not and would never again be the black paladin. Shiro was fine with that, only because Keith had taken his place. But Allura had every right to be a paladin too. There was no question that Lance, Pidge, and Hunk were the proper paladins for their respective lions. The paladins were set, and they couldn't be changed. He was no longer a paladin.

And... and he had given into Hagar.

It left him shaken every time he remembered losing the battle in his mind to Hagar. He remembered throwing Lance and Hunk when they had tried to stop him. And that terrified him.

Was he a liability to his teamates? They were in space because he had been captured by the galra, and they had come for him.

He knew the arm was gone... but that made him a weak fighter too. Sendak... Sendak had been right.

He was a broken soldier.

Shiro shut his eyes and clenched his jaw at the thought. But it didn't leave him, bringing up time after time where he had failed the paladins. Allura had been captured, He hadn't been able to stop Sendak from capturing him and Lance...

A soft knock came at the door. Shiro looked up startled. He hadn't remembered it becoming light out. Lance stirred too, lifting his head curiously.

"I'll get it," Lance mumbled, standing up and poking his head out the door. There was a hushed conversation that Shiro couldn't quite hear, and then Lance's head reappeared.

"My papá wants to talk to you," Lance said, but it was more of a question than a statement. Shiro nodded quickly, standing up too.

"Of course, Lance," he agreed.

Lance let the door fully open, and then a tall, lanky man stepped in. He didn't remember seeing this man at the fiesta the other night, or at the dinner. But now Shiro could see where Lance got his height. Shiro could see the strong resemblance between despite the older man's wrinkles and graying hair.

"Sir," Shiro greeted respectfully, extending his hand. The man removed his hat and firmly shook Shiro's hand.

Lance's papa had a quiet demeanor about him, the opposite of his wife- and Lance. His gaze was soft and steady, radiating gentle strength.

"Ah," the man started, reaching up and running a hand through his hair. He had looked exactly like Lance for a moment. "L-Lance me ha hablado de ti." He looked at his son and paused expectantly.

"He says I've told him about you," Lance translated, never taking his eyes off his papá.

Señor McClain nodded once Lance stopped talking and turned back to Shiro.

"Y-you protected my son," he continued, slowly, haltingly, as if these words had been carefully practiced beforehand. His lip trembled and tears came to his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you, Shiro."

He reached out and drew Shiro into a tight hug before he could do anything. Shiro hesitated, then reached up to pat him on the back comfortingly. This was a father's hug, strong and secure. Shiro found himself relaxing for just a moment in spite of himself, letting himself feel safe while it lasted.

"Of course, sir," he breathed finally, "But we looked after eachother."

Lance's father gave no sign that he had heard, but withdrew until his hands were resting on Shiro's shoulders.

"Sí necesita algo, tú siempre nos pides. ¿Si?" he said seriously.

"If you need anything, always ask us." Lance whispered, wiping at his own eyes, but giving Shiro a look that said the same thing.

"Thank you, sir," Shiro nodded, more touched than he could say, "That means a lot."

Lance translated for his father, who smiled and reached up to grip the back of Shiro's head affectionately. It had been a long time since anyone had done that to him, and it had been his own father.

"Si," Señor McClain smiled, putting his hat back on and turning to Lance. He spoke so rapidly now that Shiro couldn't even hope to follow, but Lance nodded and moved forward. Lance's father gripped the back of Lance's neck the way he had with Shiro, but leaned forward until his forehead rested softly against lance's. The paladin's face melted into a smile, his eyes closed blissfully as he soaked up the affection.

"Adios, chicos," Lance's father smiled, raising a hand in farewell and closing the door softly behind him.

"He's right, you know," Lance said after a moment of silence, "You've saved and protected us countless times up there, Shiro."

"If it weren't for me you would never have had to be up there in the first place-"

"And the entire universe would be enslaved beacuse we would never have found Voltron." Lance interrupted firmly. "We needed to be out there, fighting. But I'm glad it was you leading us because we would never had made it otherwise."

Shiro nodded, letting the words sink in. Lance had a knack for knowing exactly the right thing to say every time. Slowly, with both his words and his father's, Shiro found himself being able to push away his dark thoughts for a moment at least. He took a deep breath, making an effort to push forward.

"I didn't see your dad at the fiesta that first night," he questioned, wondering where he had been. Lance nodded.

"He had been out working the far cattle fields with some of my uncles when we got back." Lance explained. "You were asleep when he got here. He's wanted to talk to you since the first day, but he was really concerned about letting you rest too. So you haven't seen him until now."

"Ah," Shiro replied.

"He actually doesn't speak a word of English." Lance went on, "Part of my family owns horses and gives trail rides to tourists. A lot of them speak English, so some of my family can speak it in varying degrees of fluency- Like Emilio and Maria, and her younger sister you were talking to that night. But my papá works mostly with the cattle herds. He asked me to help him learn those words so he could say it to you in your own language, as a gesture of respect."

"Wow," Shiro breathed, those words taking on a whole other level of depth and meaning to him now.

"Yeah,"Lance agreed, the affection in his voice obvious, "He does little things like that for people. Also, you've officially been adopted by both my parents now."

"I'm 26!" Shiro protested halfheartedly, laughing.

"Nah, doesn't matter," Lance laughed too. "So is my brother, and my abuelitos still pinch his cheek. Oh hey, that reminds me- Maria and my older siblings and I were all planning a day trip to the ocean if you want to come?"

"I don't want to intrude..." Shiro started, but Lance shook his head.

"Well if that's your only reason, it's a stupid reason and that means you're coming. We'd love to have you! So, ah, I'll go grab some of Javi's clothes for you and you can meet us out by the door in... half hour? We're bringing breakfast."

"Um, sure?" Shiro wasn't entirely sure if it mattered whether he agreed with Lance or not at this point, but he smiled as Lance dashed out the door and returned with some summer clothes (given Lance's fashion signature of approval of course), and then left to go gather his own things.

The silence wasn't filled with dark thoughts as he figured out how to maneuver changing with one arm. It was filled with Señor McClain's carefully spoken words and Lance's smiles. Shiro smiled softly to himself. They were so much alike in some ways. And he was secretly pleased to have been adopted by this large, crazy, loving family of Lance's.


	6. Chapter 6

Half an hour after Lance had given him his brother's clothes, Lance, Maria and two others Shiro hadn't formally met yet were standing and talking in front of a... well-loved yellow jeep, piled high with surfboards. Shiro glanced at the peeling paint and dented fender doubtfully.

"Shiro!" Lance called, waving him over happily. "These are two of my older siblings- Javier and Veronica. Javier, Veronica- meet Shiro."

"Nice to meet you," they had both nodded enthusiastically, pausing the loading for a moment to shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you too," Shiro smiled absently, not taking his eyes off the jeep. "Um, Lance? Is this thing going to get us all the way to the ocean?"

"Sol?" Lance exclaimed indignantly, laying a protective hand over the hood. "Of course she will! It's been twenty years of road trips and she hasn't failed us yet!"

"Ah," Shiro nodded, not at all reassured. Javier chuckled and patted Shiro on the shoulder. His grip was very strong.

"Don't worry, Shiro." he murmured so Lance couldn't hear him. "If it breaks, I can fix it. I'm bringing my tools."

That made Shiro feel a little better, since a stall somewhere in the middle of a tropical rainforest looked inevitable.

"Come on in! We're all set!" The girls called, already claiming seats. Javier got into the driver seat, and Maria had taken shotgun, so that left Lance, Veronica and Shiro to share the back.

It was a pleasant drive down. Actually, it was a lot more fun than Shiro had expected. There wasn't a whole lot of talking, but a phone had been hooked up to the radio, and they all sang to the songs at top volume, laughing and dancing with the windows rolled down to let in the warm air. Shiro smiled and watched them, since he didn't know most of the songs they were playing.

Lance and Veronica seemed the most into it- acting out the songs and pretending to perform as a duo. Javier would join in on the couruses, glancing at the rear-view mirror and laughing at them.

Maria was singing along too, but mostly watching Lance and Veronica. She smiled, but didn't dance. She didn't know every song either, and that made Shiro feel not as old.

"Hey, what music do you like, Shiro?" Javier called back, reaching up to the radio and turning the music down slightly.

"Ah, I don't think you'd like it," Shiro hedged.

"No, no come on, Shiro, you take a turn here," Veronica encouraged, leaning forward and gesturing to the phone. Maria took it and handed it back to them.

Shiro thought for a moment, then typed in a song they might know. It was old, sure, but it was the music his older brother had played when they were together, and he had really liked old music. He hoped for the best and pressed play.

Within the first three notes, all four of them threw their heads back in unison.

"RETROOO!" they yelled, cheering, and then belted out the lyrics. Even Maria seemed to know this one. She caught Shiro's eye briefly in the mirror, surprised and happy, and started singing a little louder.

"Classic, Shiro!" Lance hollered approvingly over the chaos, "We should have let you choose earlier!"

"I didn't know you liked this stuff too?" Shiro asked.

"My Tia Mariposa had awesome taste in music and had Saturday night dance parties for the little kids when we were younger. Introduced us to the good music."

"Sounds fun!"

"Yeah!"

One song led into another, the others insisting that Shiro stay in charge of the music. They all seemed to like the choices, occasionally calling back a request.

One song came up that they weren't entirely familiar with. Lance knew a few words, and Veronica knew the chorus, and they sang gamely for a while.

The music faded out and stopped altogether for a few seconds...

BANG!

The base came back in unecpectedly, startling everyone but Shiro. They all jumped and laughed, but Maria's eyes flew wide and she stiffened in her seat. She didn't make a niose, but there was a fear in her eyes that shouldn't have been there. They other's didn't comment on it. They all laughed a little breathlessly and started singing again.

Javier subtly reached a hand over and laid it gently on Maria's wrist. She glanced up and gave him a quick smile before swallowing and forcing herself to relax. After a moment Maria joined back in too, but Shiro didn't miss the tenseness that didn't leave her. He watched her with concern.

Shiro didn't even realize it when Lance took over the music when the song ended and Shiro didn't picked another song. The moment passed.

Lance took the opportunity to introduce Shiro to his favorite Cuban artists- traditional and modern. Maria took a turn and played classical and obscure folk songs until the phone was taken back by a good-natured but disgusted Veronica. She played lots of upbeat American pop songs, and when Javier was offered a turn, he just shrugged and said whatever Lance likes.

It was... nice. Feeling young again. When he thought about it, 26 wasn't all that old, after all. For a moment, he wasn't a soldier, he wasn't the Champion, he was just a guy on a road trip singing badly and enthusiastically with his friends on a hot summer day.

Much to Shiro's surprise, 'Sol' made it safely to the beach in one peice. Even if it did make a concerning noise as it settled to a stop at the water's edge.

They all piled stiffly out, patted the hood of the old jeep affectionately, and started pulling out the picnic things and surfboards from the jeep.

"Um, I can help-" Shiro offered, and was instantly met with a bag set on his shoulder and a jug of water in his hand.

"Sure, you can take these!" Veronica replied briskly and without a second thought. She directed Lance towards a surfboard, and they all headed out to the water's edge.

Maria had already laid out a blanket and weighted down the corners with sand, and had gone back for the last surfboard- Javier had brought his down already. Within minutes, the food was set out and they were all digging in.

The next few minutes were quiet, but comfortable. No one spoke besides "pass the meat", or "can I have another water bottle?" Shiro ate slowly, watching the shore and listening to the waves breaking on the shore.

A sense of unease made the hair at the back of Shiro's neck stand up, and he glanced quickly behind him. The giant palm trees and thick foilage looked back at him dispassionately. Shiro shifted uncomfortably. There could be any number of hidden enemies in there.

Shiro shook his head and tried to focus on his food. He was being paranoid. This was earth. This was Lance's home. There wouldn't be galra hiding in those bushes. They were safe.

He looked back again all the same.

Lance and Javier were talking now, Javier asking Lance how they had found a cow in the middle of the universe. Lance was happily relating their adventures, captivating Javier and Veronica. Maria was listening, but watching Shiro and the jungle behind them as well. She caught his eye and raised her eyebrows slightly in a question. Shiro shook his head slightly and tried to listen to Lance's story instead.

Finally he couldn't stand it. He set down his food and stood, hating himself for breaking the spell but unable to sit and wait another minute.

"I'm going to look around," he said, stepping back from the blanket. Lance opened his mouth after a second and made to stand too, but Maria beat him to it.

"I'll go too," she said quickly, giving Lance a look. Shiro couldn't decipher it, but Lance nodded a moment later and relaxed again.

"You don't-"

"It will go quicker if someone who knows the forest goes with you." Maria interrupted quietly, "And I know this place better than anyone here."

Shiro hesitated a moment longer, but her logic was sound. He gave her a grateful nod.

"Lead the way then."

Okay, so season seven and this fic is most definitely an AU. XD I'm going to try to bring it around to some cannon-compliant connections, like Veronica, but I'm going to finish it like I had planned before season seven's release at this point. :P


	7. Chapter 7

"I didn't want to take you away from the group..." Shiro began guiltily.

"Lance needs time with his older siblings," Maria shook her head, smiling, "Those chances are rare, and Lance loves them. It was good to leave for a moment."

"Oh," Shiro nodded, feeling a little better, but watching his surroundings constantly. Every time he didn't recognize a sound, he was made painfully aware of his missing arm, and therefore lack of weapon. He started cataloguing 'available weapons' as well as monitoring the bushes. They were mostly just logs and branches. Not very effective against a Galra weapon.

"Up this way," Maria instructed, picking her way up a small incline. Shiro followed.

Suddenly the trees cleared, and he found himself looking over a short rocky bluff. It was only about twenty feet above the ground, but it overlooked the a short stretch of trees and then shoreline. Visibility was much better up here. A ways off, Shiro could see the blanket and Lance laughing with his siblings. He could also look down into the forest, and see what was in there much better. And there was... nothing. Shiro felt himself relax the tiniest bit, but still...

"Can we scout along this bluff a little?" Shiro asked Maria. She nodded quickly.

"Yeah, it's safe." she pointed down the shore, "You take this way and I'll go the other way- it'll go quicker. Don't leave the bluff and you won't get lost. We'll meet back here in twenty minutes."

"Sounds good," Shiro nodded, turning to follow her directions.

Ten minutes one way wasn't a lot, but it was definitely enough to secure a perimeter around their picnic. He walked briskly, scanning above him and below him carefully, looking for anything- footprints, bruised plants, leaves moving against the wind. And he listened, too- most of the birdcalls he was starting to recognize as normal here, and he was able to dismiss them after hearing them several times. The important thing was that they didn't stop, because that would be a sure sign that something dangerous was lurking nearby.

Finally, Shiro knew about ten minutes had gone by, and he stopped, breathing lightly. He was much stronger than when he had first gotten here, but still, he hadn't done anything this strenuous in a long time. He made a mental note to start picking up his training again, to make sure he was a help and not a weakness to his team.

While he rested, he walked a few careful steps up to the edge of the bluff and looked straight down. There was still nothing indicating danger, and the rock face would be difficult to climb quickly. He knelt and rested his hand on the edge to steady himself.

The action dislodged several small stones and rocks, and they clanked against eachother loudly as they tumbled down to the foliage below. Shiro flinched involuntarily. That sound was bad. It was dangerous. It meant he was trapped-

Shiro looked up and he was standing in an arena. He tried to take a step back, but wobbled precariously as his foot met the edge of a cliff and dislodged rocks underneath him and fell... too far... to the bottom. There was nowhere to go, and he wasn't sure he could beat this enemy. He could see its reptilian face, it's eyes narrowing with satisfaction as it assessed the situation and came to the exact same conclusion he did.

He was trapped. He had no weapons- his right arm was still his original one. He was injured, and by the excited screams of the Galra audience, his time was running out.

He wasn't the only one- he had been released with several other slaves. It was a bet, a competition to see who could last the longest against this battle hungry monster. Six clawed legs were useful in this unsteady terrain- four could be used to stay steady against unstable rocks and structures, while the other two limbs could still reach out and-

No. It wouldn't end here like this. Not without a fight.

Shiro steeled himself, bared his teeth and snarled back at the monster. If it wanted to kill him it probably could- Shiro had felt its strength when they had first engaged- but not without taking on serious damage itself.

For the first time, Shiro saw the beast hesitate, recognizing the fight in his adversary and calculating whether it was worth the risk or not.

A scream further away brought its head up quickly. It glanced at Shiro one last time, then bounded off for easier prey.

Shiro wasted no time. He ran away from the cliff and ran for cover behind a stone pillar. There were several rocks dislodged by a further scuffle and he reached for them quickly. Another scream and wild cheers tore through the arena and Shiro flinched. He might have saved them, if he had been quicker.

But the exhausted trembling in his arms told him that slave had bought him time he desperately needed.

He could hear the creature coming for him again, but this time Shiro was ready. He slowly stood with his back against the pillar, clutching the two rocks and waiting... waiting.

A satisfied hiss came inches from his ear and he wasted no more time. He rounded the pillar and swung the rock at the monster as hard as he could at its head. The rock shattered and the beast staggered, stunned by the impact. The second rock came down and it collapsed with a grunt- dead.

Stunned silence filled the arena, and then slowly, clapping and cheering. He vaguely heard an announcement over the loudspeaker.

"In a stunning turn of events, a slave has managed not only to kill the Ùlkarum, but it is also the last standing survivor of this bloodbath match. Take a look at your new champion!"

Last standing survivor? Shiro wondered hazily, falling to his hands and knees in exhaustion. Had he not been able to save one other slave? He had wasted time. He was too slow-

"-iro? Shiro! Hey, you're okay, look at me- that's it..."

He knew that voice, didn't he? Who-

"I was too late." he choked, trying to catch his breath, trying to make this person understand. He didn't deserve help; he had failed. "They died. I didn't save them."

"I-I know, Shiro. Keep breathing anyway. It's over, you're okay. You're okay." the voice persisted, quiet but commanding.

Shiro's vision cleared the rest of the way and he found himself on his knees staring at- Maria? He blinked in surprise.

"Are you with me again?" She asked gently, watching him carefully. She looked concerned, but not pitying.

"Y-yeah, I'm here," he nodded jerkily, sitting up and running his hand over his face, "Um, what, what happened-"

"The twenty minutes was up and you weren't back," Maria explained simply.

"Oh. Oh. Sorry."

"Don't apologize," Maria shook her head firmly, "I'm glad you're safe."

She sat back, facing the ocean and watched the water for a few minutes, giving Shiro time to compose himself. Slowly, his breathing returned to normal, and the flashback was starting to fade little by little. He closed his eyes and listened to the waves.

"Do you want to talk about it?" The voice brought Shiro back again. He opened his eyes in surprise, and then shook his head.

"No, I'm okay." he replied, staring at the ground. He knew he wasn't, but it was too close, too real for him still to talk about it. And Maria didn't need to deal with it.

Maria didn't respond right away, hugging her knees to her chest and watching the ocean with him.

"When I got my nursing license and some experience under my belt," she started finally, her voice tight and stiff, "I volunteered with a project that needed medical personnel. Um, no one really realized how close to the war zone we would actually be. I mean, they told us in numbers when we were assigned, but it didn't translate into real life. Sometimes... sometimes we would respond to a call..." she bit her lip, "we'd get there and it would be too late. It happened more than once.

"I used to wonder if I could have gotten there sooner. Would we have saved more people? But... we always went in as soon as we could. M-my team were some of the bravest people I knew; we followed protocol and stayed safe, but they never backed down, or let fear controll their actions. If we would have gone in any earlier the chance of being killed and not being any use went up drastically. And then how many more would have died?

"In such a dangerous situation, you just can't save everyone. You can do everything right, but that's how it goes. As long as you're doing everything you can to get to the person but using common sense, it's not your fault if something happens. It always feels like it, believe me. But it's not."

Shiro went completely still, listening. He'd had no idea, but all the things he had noticed were making sense. And... it felt better knowing that someone understood. Not completely better, but some of the guilt eased and it was replaced by relief.

"I don't regret going. But it's taken a while to believe that all the way," Maria continued, "It's taken a while for the flashbacks to become less frequent, and they've never truly left me. But I promise it gets better. And I promise you're not alone. I will always listen if you want to talk to me about it."

She stood, laying a light hand on his shoulder briefly, and then she was gone.

Shiro thought about her words for a long time afterwards. Although it made sense, it had never occurred to Shiro that he wasn't the only one who suffered from flashbacks and PTSD. By himself, those things seemed like the traits of a broken soldier, like Sendak had said. But...

Maria hadn't seemed broken. It had affected her, yes, but not broken her. And while the images of earlier still haunted him, Shiro clung to the hope that some day it would get better, and he was relieved that he wasn't the only one who had come too late at some point. And maybe it wasn't his fault. Maybe he was going to be okay.

So, some backstory on Maria! Apparently packing for college is inspiring, because I wrote this almost right after the last chapter, I've just needed to edit. XP


End file.
